A Letter to Emily and Seth

This letter was read at the Janet Parshall Fund Raiser for the Rappahannock Pregnancy Help Center on 10/24/98 by Morgan Jenkins.

Dear Emily & Seth,

I am writing this letter to you to tell you how much I love you and miss you. If you would allow me, I would welcome this chance to explain to you why you are with God and not with me.

You see, I was young, in my early 20's, in college with my whole life ahead of me. I only thought about my own needs and made decisions based on what pleased me and not God. You see, I did not know God's son and did not understand His plan for my life or yours. Because abortion was legal in the state of New York I took your life in my hands and made the decision that you should not have a chance in THIS world; that my life and my college studies and my happiness meant more. After all, you were only tissue, not yet human and I would suffer no more than a few days of uncomfortable cramping and bleeding, then you would be gone from my life.

And for a long time, for 25 years, I believed these lies. I finished school, got married and had two more children. I also found the Lord and unbeknownst to me at the time, this discovery would lead me back to you and to great heartache, but ultimately to discover God's great love and mercy.

I found you, my dear children, with God's help during a ladies' retreat. The Lord, through His tender mercies opened my heart and my eyes to what I had done those 25 years ago.My soul cried out, tears flowed from my eyes, I would not be comforted. Yet, through the encouragement of a good friend and through the wisdom of God's words, I discovered His love and forgiveness even for this terrible sin. He brought me to a point where I could live with myself, yet there was more work to do because I was still in a state of self-condemnation which I did not realize.

Innocently enough, this last spring I enrolled in a Post-Abortion Bible Study through the Rappahannock Pregnancy Help Center. I believing I was totally healed, but that I would attend so that I could help others by sharing my experience. To my surprise, and now great thanks, the Lord had other plans. You see, Emily and Seth, I never named you. I never really believed that God had truly forgiven me. I just couldn't let go of the fact that I had chosen to end your life before it began. Before the end of the study, I had truly allowed God to enter my heart. I received His forgiveness and He heal me from the inside out. You were given names and my life is now free from condemnation.

What I also discovered was that you were not just tissue and that I would forever be affected by that decision to have my abortions. I now realize that from the moment of conception you were a child of God and I did not have the right to make the decision to end your life. I also became aware of the consequences of my choice. In my heart, deep in its recesses, I knew what I had done was wrong and that knowledge surfaced in many ways. I realize now that much of my anger, my depression, and my weight problems have stemmed from that sin and my total denial. I thank my Lord that He has freed me and I can go on with joy in His love.

Do I regret my decision? Do I miss you and wonder what you would have done for God in this world? Yes. Yes. Of course I do. But I also understand God's grace and forgiveness and do not walk in shame, but in His mercy. I also have found healing in being able to bring my story to you through this letter. I know I have received your forgiveness and am waiting eagerly for that day when we will be reunited and can spend eternity together.

Thank-you Emily and Seth for listening. Thank-you for forgiving and thank-you for loving me.

With deep love,

Mom

rphc02.jpg (43772 bytes) At the fund raiser, Morgan concluded her remarks with the following:

And today as I stand before you, my brothers and sisters in the Lord, I bring to you the knowledge that there is forgiveness from God. If you have had an abortion, there is a true healing that can take place. For those of you who may right now be struggling with a decision about whether or not to have an abortion or in the future may find yourself in that place, I urge you to carefully consider that choice.

That life that God has placed in you is anything but a bunch of tissue - it is a unique life given by the Giver of Life. And if you choose to take that life, there are consequences that last far past the few days of discomfort. They last a lifetime. My prayer is that you will listen to your heart, to the knowledge that in God's infinite wisdom there is another choice you can make - a choice for life.