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I talked about our marriage problems with friends. What can I do now?

Q: Our marriage got off to a very bad start....we are both equally to blame. Because I was so overwhelmed at first, I spoke about nothing else. I went around telling everyone about our problems. I realize now that this was a huge mistake.

What advise can you give me regarding turning all of this around? Most of my friends don't ask questions, but one still does and she can be at times rather negative.

A: It's always difficult to give advice over the Internet, because email is so limited in what it can communicate. Without having the full story, I would just say that my wife and I went through a similar situation the first years of our marriage. We thought marriage was going to be a lot easier and more pleasant (you know, "Some Day My Prince Will Come" stuff). When we discovered that the other was a wicked, depraved sinner just like we were, we both went around talking negative about each other. Of course, it didn't help the marriage one bit, especially when the other spouse found out. Friends love to "take your side" too and then they contribute to division rather than unity.

At a marriage seminar, we were taught Ephesians 4:29. Sue and I made a commitment to only speak positively to and about each other. We went back to our friends and confessed our sin of "trashing" our spouse. This was convicting to some of our friends too, who were also slandering their spouses.

Hope some of this testimony is helpful.

Joy and peace to your in all your relationships!